Anonymous asked:

Everyday presents a challenge for me. My biggest problem with these challenges is facing them with confidence. I have unreal anxiety levels, and I blew a chance to become greater at my job because i froze in front of the audience that would designate me competent enough to be an inspector. I know i am completely capable of performing my job.. but my anxiety keeps me from showing them. What are some prayers or Skaldic wisdom, even a verse from the Allfather himself that could guide my confidence?

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I am sorry if my previous words did not help much. I got caught up in trying to be positive and uplifting, but I probably didn’t actually give you any concrete reassurance. I am not sure if these words will be any more helpful, but I truly hope that they are.

Since you are still working on your B.A., you still have time to overcome your struggles with confidence. I know that probably sounds superficial, but it is true. I believe that it is in graduate school where you truly sharpen your ability to articulate your thoughts in a verbal setting. You should not be expected to present your ideas without nerves at such an early stage. After all, how could you be confident in presenting when you still have so much to learn? I feel that learning to overcome the anxiety of presenting in front of people takes a long time. Unfortunately, it also involves constantly throwing yourself out there, which inevitably results in the experiences you have mentioned above. 

In terms of presentation, I find that to be the most difficult of things to overcome, and I find it to be something that takes longer than any other aspect of the field to finally get comfortable with (for most people). Personally, I am better at writing than I am with speaking; I come across much more composed through writing than I ever have through speaking. I have also frozen and stubbled over my words in front of audiences many times. I know that my experiences do not equate to yours, though, so saying that I struggle probably does not actually come across as very helpful.

I should also mention that a lot of what determines your qualifications as a historian is not in your presentations or conferences, but in the quality of your academic work (as in your papers, articles, etc.). Academia is about the mind, and most of us are terribly awkward creatures anyway. The wisest of us all may not be the most beautifully spoken.

Interestingly enough, it is actually traditional in history conferences to read your paper to the audience, rather than speaking fluidly and off-script. I am not sure if that helps, but I find it to be comforting, because I can always rely on my paper when I get stuck. I have never done a conference yet, though (I will this weekend for the very first time). Also, no one should be passing harsh judgment on your competency on your ability to speak alone, especially at such an early stage. 

It takes time to develop these skills, even for people will less difficulties than you. I am not sure how you will overcome them, because I have never faced the same challenges that you have. I can only offer generalized advice that I hope with all my heart helps you.

Some words of advice from Óðinn, Alföðurinn (the All-father), here are some partial stanzas from the Hávamál, albeit a lot of the relevance comes from my imposed interpretation (likely out of proper historical context, but such rigid boundaries would not help you):

Hávamál, stanza 36 (partial):
“A farm of your own is better, even if small,
everyone’s someone at home.”

Find something you are strong and comfortable with and use that to help build your confidence; find something that you have control over (your own farm, or your own ‘home’). For me, when I got turned down from hopeful graduate programs, I emerged myself in my studies regarding Old Norse, because that is something that I could control and improve without outside pressures. If you are feeling down about failed presentations, focus a bit on things you’re stronger with. It will make you feel better.

Hávamál, stanza 133 (partial):
“no man is so good that he has no blemish,
nor so bad that he is good for nothing.”

We all have our weaknesses, but we also have our strengths.This quote supports the interpretation for the one above. There is always something you will find yourself to be good at, and even if you do not feel this to be true, there is always something you can have full control over. Search for your good qualities and use them as a starting point to build and strengthen your overall confidence.

Here is my advice, then: to build your confidence, find something you are strong in, comfortable with, or have control over. Use that as a starting point, and use it to fall back on when you are feeling defeated. 

As I said earlier, when I have felt defeated, I have made myself feel better by focusing my energies elsewhere. Since practicing the elegant art of speech often requires putting yourself out there, you will inevitably have moments like this in the future (I deal with them as well, although perhaps to not such an extent as you do). Still, as superficial as it may sound, you must have patience, dedication, and faith in yourself. Build yourself and your confidence by learning what your foundation is. Start there and you shall slowly, but surly, grow. Be the best person that you can be and continuously give life your strongest efforts. I know that is generic advice, but they are helpful words nonetheless.

Hopefully my words will be more helpful this time around. If not, I am more than happy to continue talking and helping in whatever way I possibly can.